Fall - A Picture Post

Big Big News!!!

The following is from CNN this evening:

Obama to lift HIV/AIDS travel ban
October 30, 2009 5:23 p.m. EDT
"If we want to be the global leader in combating HIV/AIDS, we need to act like it," President Obama said Friday.
"If we want to be the global leader in combating HIV/AIDS, we need to act like it," President Obama said Friday.


Washington (CNN) -- President Obama announced Friday that he will lift a 22-year-old ban on entry into the United States for people infected with HIV/AIDS.

The administration intends to publish a new federal rule next week eliminating the ban by the start of 2010, he said.

"We talk about reducing the stigma of this disease, yet we've treated a visitor living with it as a threat," he said at the White House. "If we want to be the global leader in combating HIV/AIDS, we need to act like it."

Obama said that lifting the ban is a "step that will encourage people to get tested and get treatment. It's a step that will keep families together, and it's a step that will save lives."

The United States, he said, is one of only a dozen countries that still bar the entry of people with HIV.

Obama made the announcement shortly before signing legislation extending federally funded HIV/AIDS treatment for hundreds of thousands of underinsured, low-income Americans.

The Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act authorizes a 5 percent annual increase in federal support over the next four years. Funding under the law is scheduled to rise from more than $2.5 billion in fiscal year 2010 to nearly $3 billion in fiscal year 2013.

Among other things, the law helps ensure continued funding for the Minority AIDS Initiative, designed to address "the disproportionate impact of the disease on racial and ethnic minorities," according to a White House statement.

The measure easily passed both the Senate and the House of Representatives last week. Similar legislation first passed almost 20 years ago and was reauthorized in 1996, 2000 and 2006.

An estimated 1 million people in the United States have HIV, according the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Almost one-quarter of them are not aware that they are infected, the CDC says.

Bummer

So...I had hoped to have fun pictures of all of us having a good time at the local pumpkin patch and apple orchard this weekend, but instead I am stuck at home with a couple of sickies. Bummer.

Poor Peanut has a confirmed case of H1N1. Yuck. Yesterday he came home from school not feeling very well. Took his temperature and it was 100.3. At that point I suspected he probably had "the virus" that is all over the place. He got some extra hugs and cuddles...some Sprite and pudding for dinner...and got to sleep on a cot in mom and dad's room. At 6:00am I took his temperature and it was 105!!! Yikes! He got some children's Motrin and some cold apple juice in him...and hour later it was down to 102.6. I made some phone calls to my mom and First Nurse...and it was determined I should try to get him to the clinic this morning. When the clinic opened at 8:00am, I talked with the nurse. At first she said there really was no need to bring him in unless he starts having a hard time breathing, becomes really lethargic, or we can't get his fever to come down. Then I mentioned Jellybean's chronic illness and she said "bring him in - leave the other one at home". Poor kiddo.

Peanut and I headed to the clinic an hour later. We sat there for quite a while waiting - and the waiting room was pretty full. All the kids were wearing masks. Poor Peanut was so sad he had to wear a mask. He didn't fight it...but when we sat down, he just hung his head and had big tears streaming down his face.

The doctor wasn't our normal pediatrician, but he was really great. The nurse tested Peanut for the flu (so NOT a fun test - poor Peanut cried and cried and cried when it was over). The test came back positive. And because Jellybean has Sickle Cell disease, we were given special treatment. A round of Tamiflu for both Peanut and Jellybean. Hopefully it will keep Jellybean from getting it...and help Peanut get over it quickly.

Z also seems to have a touch of "something". Probably H1N1. Great.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep myself healthy - at least until everyone else is better.

Never a Dull Moment

This is going to be a mish-mash of a post, but that's kind of where I am right now.

First, things at our house are just never dull these days. In fact, it seems as though we've just been inundated with icky stuff to deal with lately. First it was the mystery rash, then the communication issues with a Kindergarten teacher, and this week I discovered that a certain (really hairy) fur-kid has the dreaded flea. Ugh. In a house with lots of fur-kids, fleas are a MAJOR problem. Our pets get lots of people attention, so I hope that we caught them early. Only one fur-kid has fleas (or evidence of fleas), but EVERYBODY got treated just the same. And last night we did a top-to-bottom cleaning of the house in hopes of stopping the invasion right where it was. I'm praying this is the last we see of fleas. Its yucky. And embarrassing. Ugh. Our neighbors have pigeons...I'm pretty sure that's the source of our flea problem.

The "Kindergarten Issue". We've determined that the Kindergarten teacher is probably very annoyed with us at this point. We don't really care about that so much...but we've decided that now that we've told the teacher what our issue is and what our expectation is (that she start communicating with us more effectively) that we will give it a couple weeks to see if things start improving. They improved a bit last week...so we'll see how long it lasts. If it doesn't get better or if it gets better and then gets worse again, we're going to bring in the Principal and hash things out until we are more happy with the situation. I honestly don't think this teacher is a "bad teacher". I just don't think that she using the "right" strategy for our Peanut. Hopefully things get better and stay better.

Adoption news. Nope - there's no news. (Ok...its not COMPLETELY true that there's NO adoption news. We recently got our I-600a approval, so there has been some news). I'm struggling a bit with how I feel about the lack of news. I don't really EXPECT news at this point...but I also really wish there was something to report. We've been at this for so long, it feels like there should be SOMETHING. I hesitate a bit to put this in writing, but I am getting to a place where I no longer BELIEVE this adoption is going to happen at all. And even if it were to happen, my idea of "the perfect child" for our family right now is changing. On paper, we are requesting a child under 5. We've told our adoption coordinator we'd like a girl under 5. But the truth is...my heart is really longing for a baby. I know that this is very likely the child that will complete our family. Z has always wanted 3 kids. I've always wanted 3 or 4 kids. I'm not sure that Z will ever want the 4th child. Maybe. We are approved to adopt 2 kids (in the event there is a sibling pair that captures our hearts), but we are both hoping a single child is who captures our hearts this time around. But all of that means that this next child might be my last chance to have a baby. I've never really felt that pull before...but lately, my heart just longs for all things little. I don't know what that means in terms of our adoption. Do we switch to a program where babies are available? I don't know. I'm honestly really tired of thinking and rethinking and overthinking everything in terms of our adoption process. I'd really just love it at this point if "THE ANSWER" just fell into our laps. Unlikely, I know.

The internet. I've been cutting down the amount of time I spend online lately. I don't visit the online groups that I am a part of as much...I don't spend as much time reading every email that gets sent from yahoo forums I'm on...I don't spend as much time blogging...I don't spend as much time "playing" online as I used to. It just got to the point where things were getting too hard for me. It was too hard for me to be reading about other people's good adoption news - that terrible jealousy bug bites hard sometimes. It was too difficult and scary to read about other people's bad adoption experiences. It was getting to the point where I was spending so much time dwelling on that "stuff" that I didn't have the time I needed to do things that help renew my spirit. So I shut the computer off.

I've been spending more time with my family - and actually being PRESENT (instead of my mind being somewhere else). I started trying to teach myself how to crochet (just because I didn't know how). I think I have the very basic stitches worked out, but I am clearly missing a stitch every time I change direction, because what I am working on is looking more like a triangle than a square - but I don't really care at this point. I'm just doing it for fun. I'm sure I'll figure out the problem and be off and running. I went up into my sewing room and actually started sewing. Over the weekend I started a quilt and got about 1/2 of the quilt top done in one day. It was HEAVEN. It made me feel so wonderful to just get started again. I just pray that I someday have a little girl to wrap in the purple and green quilt.

But, I guess that is all to say that if you don't hear from me all that much in this space, that is why. I'm still here. I still read the important things. I still get the gist of what's going on in my yahoo groups...I just am not putting in the time and energy that I used to. It was/is just too hard. Maybe someday I will be able to read about other people's adoption journeys and have their news not affect my mood regarding our adoption journey. But right now, its just too difficult to compartmentalize.

"The Rigors of Kindergarten" or "Why I'm Currently Mad at a Kindergarten Teacher"

When the school year started (and Peanut entered Kindergarten), we knew that he was going to have a bit of a tough transition. Peanut has been dealt a bit of a disadvantage, compared to his classmates. In our small town, kids like Peanut aren't very common. He's the only kid in his class with a dark skin color. He's the only kid in his class who was adopted. He's the only kid in his class who lost his whole family and his culture...who then had to get used to a new culture, a new country, a new home, and a new family. In the past two years, Peanut has been through a tremendous amount of change. He's making incredible progress and I know that he will continue to do so...but people in his life need to give him the tools he needs (and the chance) to succeed.

Before school started, Z took Peanut in to school to meet his teacher and check out his classroom. During this meeting, Z told the Kindergarten teacher that Peanut was going to need some additional work. He told her that it was important that she be consistent. He told her that it was important that she make it clear to him at the very beginning of the school year what the boundaries were...and what the consequences were for over-stepping those boundaries. Z told her to expect Peanut to do some attention-seeking behaviors...and that these behaviors were related to his past and his difficulties with attachment. Z told her that we expected some difficult days for him and that once he knew what his boundaries (and consequences) were, then we expected he would do just fine. We told her to please let us know right away if he was not behaving appropriately so that we could address the behaviors right away.

We were clear with her.

Yesterday, Peanut had a rough day at school. His "cubby" was red - which means his behavior was bad at school (the first red he's had). So, he lost some privileges at home and had a "talking to" about his behavior. I wrote a note to the teacher letting her know that if there were specific behaviors that she would like us to address at home that she should let us know so that we could help Peanut work on these things.

She wrote a note back letting us know that yesterday's behavior wasn't really different from any other day so far...its just that now she's enforcing the rules because they are a month in to school and the students should be used to school and the rules now. She said Peanut is having a hard time with "Kindergarten-appropriate behaviors". She said she knew we had been recommended to enroll Peanut in the Pre-K program, but that we had opted out of it. She wanted us to know that Pre-K was still an option for Peanut and that she thinks it would be a good option for him. If we want to talk about this option for Peanut, please give her a call.

UGH.

A month in to school and this is the FIRST TIME we are hearing about his "inappropriate" behaviors.

Why did we bother telling the teacher any of our concerns BEFORE school started? She clearly did not take anything we said seriously. Now, poor Peanut has spent a month at school thinking he was doing just fine...only to learn yesterday that he wasn't. Now he's confused about those boundaries...and the consequences. Now we have to re-teach him how to be a Kindergartener.

Now, I don't want to paint with a broad brush, but I have a feeling that this teacher read Peanut's "Kindergarten Round-up" evaluation and made up her mind about Peanut before she even met him. She's writing him off because he's going to be more work. And I'm concerned that she isn't going to listen to any input that we give her.

She wants us to put him in Pre-K...he'll turn 6 in Pre-K...and then turn 7 in Kindergarten. Am I crazy to think this is a bad idea?

Z and I are determined to make sure that Peanut is not punished for being adopted and for having a background that is "different" than the typical kid in our town. The teachers who have suggested Pre-K for Peanut have all tried to tell us that it is there to "help him". They are worried that "the rigors of Kindergarten" will "damage his spirit" and they think that Pre-K will help him transition better. But none of them want to hear that holding him back (and now removing him from Kindergarten and sending him back to Pre-K) will also "damage his spirit". Peanut has wanted to go to school from the moment he got off the airplane. He was heartbroken when his big brother got to go to school and he didn't. He's SMART. He needs to go to school. When he gets bored, he misbehaves. Somehow, I don't think that Pre-K will engage him enough to keep him busy and keep him from getting bored.

But what do I know?

I'm just his MOM.

My mistake? Taking him to the week-long Kindergarten Round-Up. I really wish I had not taken him, and that I had instead just enrolled him in Kindergarten. Kindergarten Round-Up has only given the teachers an "out". Its given them the chance to pre-judge my little boy and that just stinks. Now we have to work to get the teacher to step outside her box of familiarity and figure out some new strategies that will work for our little boy. He deserves to be in Kindergarten with the rest of the kids his age. He deserves to be given an education and be evaluated fairly. He deserves a chance.

Proverb

"To climb a mountain, you zigzag."
-Zimbabwean Proverb

This seems particularly fitting. I seem to be doing a lot of zigging and zagging lately. Eventually, though...we'll reach the top of the mountain and have a great view. At least, I hope so.

Planning Ahead

After church today, Z headed out of the house to do a little "guy stuff". Since we have a tremendously busy week ahead of us this week, I decided to use the time wisely and do some cooking to help us get through the week (or at least to get us started).

The boys wanted to help, so we put on our aprons and got to work!


First we made a pan of these.


Then some of these.


And a big old pot of chili to go with them.

Why is it that chili never looks very appetizing in a photo? Its gonna be good, though...It is going to cook all day long in the crock pot tomorrow and we'll come home to a kitchen smelling wonderfully spicy. Then all I will have to do to be ready for dinner tomorrow is make some rice (the boys like to eat their chili over rice) and grate some cheese.

And since we were already in the kitchen, I thought we'd make these, too.


I think we're good on snacks for the week. Now I just have to plan out the rest of our evening meals. I know the chili will provide us with a couple of nights...as well as some lunches. Maybe some roast in the crock pot another night? We'll see what I come up with. At least I have a good start now.