Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Reflections on the past and looking forward to the future...

Z and I got married just over 3 years ago now. In the grand scheme of things, three years is a drop in the bucket, yet most days it feel like we've been together forever. We finish each other's sentences, we (usually) tend to make the same decisions (at least the big ones), we have the same interests (we're such nerds, we know), and most importantly, we both have the same plans for our family and our future.

For those of you who have known us for a long time, some of you may think that this whole adoption idea was completely spearheaded by yours truly. And while that may be true in the initial discussion, I in no way had to twist anyone's arm or do any convincing. Once the idea was proposed (way early in our relationship - this has always been an interest of mine) Z was fully on board. In fact I think his first reaction was "That's cool. Infertility runs in my family anyway - so even if we wanted our own kids we might not be able to."

While we were dating we did the standard "getting to know each other" stuff. Lots of dates, lots of time spent together, and lots of learning about what each other was interested in. Our wedding was just days before Z left for Iraq to serve for 14 months in a transportation unit. During that entire year, we were able to talk on the phone a total of 4 times. We learned how to communicate with each other without the luxury of hearing each other's voices and seeing each other's body language. Despite the fact that we didn't talk on the phone, we did chat online nearly every day. Those times were totally precious to me. EVERYTHING in my life stopped if Z was online to talk! Even though we weren't in the same city, the same state, or even the same continent we were able to learn even more about each other. I was worried when he got back that our relationship would be different. That it would be harder, that we would feel like we didn't know each other anymore. But it was the opposite of that. It was a though he had never been gone.

Now that we are deep into "adoption mode", we are learning even more about each other. We are learning how big our hearts truly are for these children that we don't even have yet. I am learning that my husband has a huge heart for all kids and is especially vulnerable to children with special needs. I've always known that he had a heart for people with special needs (he currently works with adults who have special needs), but I had never really thought about how good he would be at being a father to a special needs child. For that matter, about how he will be a great dad in general.

I am so looking forward to going through this journey with my loving husband. He is amazing and I don't say it often enough.

I would marry you all over again....

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