Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Lost in Thought

There are days when I love having a blog...I look forward to adding a new post and updating the world on our adoption process. Then there are other days where I wish I didn't have a blog. Not because I don't want to update the world on our progress and not because anything bad has happened, but just because I don't have anything in particular that I WANT to share. Then, the days go by and I start to feel bad that I haven't posted anything for a while.

We are moving along in the adoption process. In fact, we recently got some encouraging news. News that means it is within the realm of reality that our boys could be home for Christmas. Christmas 2007. This is FANTASTIC news! When we started the process of adoption on January 2nd, our goal was to have our kids home by Christmas. It was a goal we set for ourselves because we assumed it was far enough out that by then, surely, our kids would be home (naive, I know). We weren't waiting for a baby, so our wait should be shorter. Then, we switched countries and that goal seemed a little out of reach. But now it is back within reality. And that makes me happy!

I guess I am just in that place in our journey where I am finding myself totally lost in thought at times. I am totally and utterly in love with two little boys who are thousands of miles away. I can't give them hugs and kisses. I can't read them a story and tuck them into bed at night. I can't ease their fears and provide reassurance. I can't fix up the cuts and scrapes and send them on their way to play outside with Spongebob Squarepants band-aids covering the ouchies. I can't put on all their new clothes and make sure they fit OK. I can't whisper "I love you" in their ears. I can't reassure them that they have a mom and a dad and we ARE coming for them.

All I can do is pray about them, think about them, and prepare for their homecoming. I pray that someone is filling in for me on all of those things. I pray that they are being handled with love and that someone is saying "I love you" and someone is kissing and hugging them. I pray that when they get cuts and scrapes that someone notices and comforts them - then cleans them up, bandages them, and encourages them to get back in the game. I pray that someone is teaching them new things everyday. I pray that someone reads stories to them. I pray that someone shows them our pictures and reminds them that we are here, in the United States, waiting for them. I pray that someone comforts them and assures them that we WILL be coming to get them. I pray that someone is telling them that their mom and dad love them very much and can't wait to see them.

I know that as far as orphanages go, our boys are in a "good" one. There aren't a lot of kids in the orphanage yet...the caretakers really care about the kids...they have a good teacher working with the kids...they are getting lots of good food and attention. But, the truth is, even the very best of orphanages is not a HOME. They are not home. They don't have a mom and a dad taking care of them everyday; 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I am very thankful for the caretakers at Eban House. I appreciate all of their hard work and I love that they are loving our boys. But I can't wait for the day when I can tell them "thank you - we'll take it from here".

I thought I'd share this quote. Maybe I should start a quote of the day series of posts...at least then I'd get a post in. Maybe...don't hold me to it just yet. ;)

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." ~Mother Theresa


Sarah Riedel said...

Chanda, you amaze me sometimes, and today you made me cry reading your blog. Thanks for letting us crawl in your head for a while. Sarah

Anonymous said...

I love that quote by Mother Theresa. Hang in there sweetie, it will all be so worth it!

And I can relate to your feelings about blogging, sometimes it's overwhelming.