Monday, February 25, 2008

Today, Tomorrow, and....

Jellybean and Peanut had a tough day today. Yesterday we were out having too much fun and they missed their nap completely. While they did go to bed relatively early last night, they still missed out on some necessary rest and today they were a bit on the cranky and defiant side. This, of course, did not come as a surprise to me. To add to the crankiness was inclement weather (rain, sleet, snow, and thunder-snow); so they were stuck inside and unhappy.

After a bout of not listening to mom and having to sit by mom for a bit, we had a little chat. During the course of this chat, Peanut got a really sad look on his face and asked "We go to our house now?"

Both of the boys have said this before when they've gotten into trouble for something, but I've always followed it up with "This is your house", or something else that is pretty similar (reminding them that this is their house, we are their parents, and this is America). Today, I decided that I had a good opportunity to ask some additional questions.

Me: "Which house?"
Peanut: "Our house in the airplane"

Me: "Why would you have to go there?"
Jellybean: "Be...Because I am bad boy."

Me: "Do you think that if you are bad we will send you back?"
(followed by really sad looks and misty eyes)
Jellybean: "Yes" (very quietly, with eyes down)
Peanut: "Yes" (very quietly, with eyes down)

Me: "Look at Mommy....You are both very good boys. Sometimes you make bad choices, but you are both good boys. Mommy and Daddy are never, ever going to send you back. You are here forever and ever. This is your house...I am your mommy....daddy is your daddy forever and ever. Is that okay?"
Peanut (with a big smile): "Yes"
Jellybean (still a little unsure): "Yes"

Me: "You are here today, tomorrow, and forever and ever. We will never send you back. Mommy and daddy love you very much and we will never send you back no matter what."
Jellybean: "okay"
Peanut: "okay"

Me: (looking at Jellybean) "I love you"
Jellybean: "I love you, too"

Me: (looking and Peanut): "I love you"
Peanut: "I love you"

We ended the conversation with lots of hugs and cuddles and the boys were immediately happier after this little exchange.

Z and I ended the night tonight with the following words
Z and I: "How long are you here? Today....tomorrow....and...."
Jellybean and Peanut: "Forever and ever!"

We've decided this is how we will start (and end) each of our days.

2 comments:

Renee said...

Chanda,

Tears here. How heartbreaking.

You and Z are such good parents!

Do you have the book "Love You Forever"? http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372

ALL of our children really love it.

I love reading about your boys. They are just beautiful.

Lisa J. said...

So sweet and sad too. Thank you for sharing your experience. I think your plan to start and end the day with these words is a good one!