I have to be totally honest here and preface this post by saying that I generally don't believe in the "Satan is attacking me because I'm doing something that God wants me to do" statements. I've heard lots of people say (or write) things like that and my usual response is that people just feel attacked because there is simply a coincidence between choosing to follow what you feel is God's plan for your life and the "bad stuff" that's happening. Bad stuff happens all the time.
When we first heard about Twinkie, we weren't sure we could pursue his adoption. We certainly wanted to, but we didn't know how we'd ever afford to do it. It was't until we heard a certain piece of information about him, I got a new job, and we were able to purchase a new house that we finally felt like enough things had come together (all within a week's time) that we were being directed to pursue Twinkie's adoption. It wasn't just about what we wanted anymore...it was about what we were SUPPOSED to do. So even though we didn't know how we'd afford it all, we stepped out in faith.
These days, though...the path is looking ragged...the directions are unclear...and the uncertainty is looming. Did we take a wrong turn?
There have been developments in Ghana that make Twinkie's ability to be adopted uncertain. We've been hit with unexpected expenses (that add up quickly and totally cut into any extra money we might have been able to set aside for the adoption). We've discovered bats in our cute little house (yuck-o), I just spent a crazy amount of money taking my beloved Paka (cat) to the veterinarian, and the attorney fees for the readoption of our boys in our state cost twice what we were expecting. Not to mention other expenses that are unavoidable when you move into a new place.
We're just feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I feel like a big old log has been put right in front of our path...and now we have to spend time figuring out if the log can be pushed out of the way, whether we can climb over it, whether it needs to be chopped up into little pieces and moved, or whether it means we simply have to turn back and find a new path.
I still don't know if I believe whether or not all of this "bad stuff" is stuff that Satan is throwing at us because we're on a path to do something great. Its all just bad stuff...and it probably would have happened regardless of Twinkie's existence (well, except for the Twinkie-related news in Ghana). But, man! Now I totally understand how people could feel that way!