Monday, February 23, 2009

A Heavy Heart

The adoption process is HARD. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Its hard. And sometimes bad things happen along the way.

Sometimes paperwork gets lost.

Sometimes birth family members (immediate or extended) decide they want to try to keep the child(ren) they had originally thought they couldn't care for.

Sometimes you have your eyes on a particular child and when you get their paperwork decide he/she isn't the child for you based on a medical test result or some other criteria.

Sometimes things get delayed...and that child you hoped would be home by Christmas doesn't get home until Easter (or later).

Sometimes you hear that chicken pox (or some other contagious disease) is spreading through the orphanage and you lay awake worrying about a child you know is sick...or praying that he/she won't get sick.

Sometimes its hard to watch a child you love grow older and older while you wait to bring him/her home.

Sometimes things happen in the process that just make you want to give up...but you keep going because you know that little one waiting for you is worth it.

Sometimes you fall in love with a child who can never be yours.

And sometimes...the worst happens...and a child dies while someone across the ocean prays for them, waits for them, and loves them.

I have a heavy heart tonight as I think about a little girl who died far before her time. Though she wasn't Twinkie (the little boy we hope will join our family), she had a firm grasp on my heart...and a permanent place in our family.

May Jesus wrap you tightly in His arms tonight, Little Girl!

4 comments:

A. Gillispie said...

Much love, and many hugs, my friend.
Anita

Jen said...

I am so sorry to hear of this. She will be in my prayers...


Jennine

Amy said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear about this Chanda. She'll be in my prayers as well.

Amy

Kristin Jag said...

My prayers are with you; I am sorry to hear about this little girl. I can't even imagine...