On Tuesday morning, I went to jail. Again. To get my fingerprints done. Again.
Apparently, the fingerprints I had taken two months ago weren't good enough for the FBI and they were rejected. So, I had to head back to the local Sheriff's department to get my fingerprints re-done.
When we adopted the boys, this step wasn't necessary for our homestudy...and I would happily by-pass it again if I could. Two months ago when I got my fingerprints done, Z and I went in together...there was lots of laughing and joking with the officer who did the fingerprints...and by the end of our appointment he was telling Z he needed to apply for a job there. This time around, I got an officer with some clear anger-management issues. He was frustrated with the machine, he was frustrated with my fingers...he was frustrated with the FBI for not clearing my prints last time when clearly "that's as good as their gonna get!"
After 40 minutes and SEVERAL scans of each of my fingers, I left the jail booking area with a new fingerprint card that I am fairly certain will have the same fate as the last one - rejection by the FBI. After a couple of months of processing, of course.
So this means we'll have to sit on our hands for another couple of months with no homestudy approval and no decision about our adoption plans.
When we began this adoption process, we honestly thought there was a real possibility that Twinkie could be coming home to us this summer. At this rate summer will pass by and we won't even have a completed homestudy. There have been so many starts, stops, pauses, and "putting things on hold" during this adoption process as we waited for things in Ghana to figure themselves out. We didn't think this is where we would be several months in. Its frustrating and overwhelming to think about how long we've been at this.
It all makes me think I should just throw up my hands and say "I get it! I'm done already. This is the end of our adoption journey."
But the problem is, in my gut it doesn't FEEL like this should be the end. Not yet. Maybe I'm just in denial.