Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sinking In

Yesterday the boys and I spent the morning running errands (and getting the boys haircuts). On the way home, I overheard the boys discussing some important issues like who they should listen to and how Jellybean thought that Peanut should listen to him because he's older and he's just trying to help him not get into trouble. You know, deep big-brother type conversations. After a while they started discussing who Twinkie should listen to. They thought for sure that Twinkie should listen to mommy and daddy and grandma and grandpa...and Jellybean...and finally they decided that because Twinkie is younger he should also listen to Peanut.

As the conversation continued, I felt the sharp pain in my heart as I realized I was going to have to talk with the boys about how Twinkie was not going to come live with us as we had hoped he would.

Me: "Boys, how would it make you feel if Twinkie didn't come live with us?"

Peanut: "Sad...and mad"
Jellybean: "Really sad"

Me: "Why would it make you feel that way?"

Peanut: "Because...."
Jellybean: "Because we love Twinkie. And we want him to live with us in the new house."

Me: "I know you do...and mommy and daddy do, too. But sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. Mommy and daddy said we would try to bring Twinkie to live with us...but he might not come."

Me: "How would you feel if Twinkie stayed with your Ghana mommy?"

Peanut: "Sad...I want Twinkie to live with us"

Me: "I know you do. But I think its really hard for your Ghana mommy to say goodbye to Twinkie. And I think if Twinkie came to live with us it would make your Ghana mommy really sad. So if Twinkie doesn't come to live with us we'll just have to pray for him and ask Jesus to watch out for him. Do you think that would be ok?"

Jellybean: "Yes. I guess so."

The conversation continued just a bit...and the subject changed to whether or not we should have a different little boy or girl come live with us instead of Twinkie. Somehow the boys came to the conclusion that if Twinkie can't come live with us then we should get them a different little brother...and a little sister. Go figure. For some reason, I don't think they will be the ones making the decisions around here.

I know this will be an ongoing discussion in our home for the next few days, weeks, and months. But at least the conversation is started. This morning at breakfast Peanut declared sadly that "I don't think Twinkie is coming anymore." Right you are kiddo, right you are.

1 comment:

Amy said...

How heartbreaking Chanda. It sounds like you handled that tough, tough conversation so very well. I can only imagine how painful that must have been. I ache for you and hope you can find comfort in your own words that you so lovingly offered your sons.