Friday, April 10, 2009

Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster

Lately I've been feeling a do I put it? Jealous. Yep - there it is. Out there for the world to see. I'm jealous.

In the adoption world, you make connections with other families who've been through this process before (or are going through it with you). Not many people have the advantage of having someone in their neighborhood or family who have gone through the adoption process, so you reach out to others on the internet. Over the past few weeks I've noticed that more and more of my internet friends have good news to share - they've passed court, are traveling to pick up their child, etc. Some of them are people who started the process after we did.

Now...I don't want you all to think that I'm not happy for you. I am. Really and truly happy for you.

But for me? It kinda stinks. Here we are....STILL not done with the homestudy. Still working out our next move. Still wondering if we can take this leap of faith and come up with the money.

I'm not writing this to be whiny in any way. Its just the truth. Sometimes the adoption process is hard. Sometimes its frustrating. And sometimes it brings out the very worst parts of your character (like letting someone else's good news make you jealous).

But sometimes adoption is also amazing, and wonderful...and brings out the very best in your character.

And at the end of your journey all those times of waiting and frustration go away. In the end, the timing seems perfect. As though it was planned out in advance.

I'm looking forward to that part.


A. Gillispie said...

I'm so sorry my friend. I have TOTALLY been there, done that. One day it is going to be YOUR turn!!! I just KNOW it!!!!

Rachel said...

I have so totally been there too. It is just plain yucky and I'm so sorry you're having to go through it now. Big cyber-hugs coming your way.

Baxter said...

Your time is on the way! I think it is exciting where you are now. :)


Leslie said...

I totally know what you mean. ('m praying for you.

Cheryl said...

I'm SO looking forward to the moment when it all seems perfect! When I was in Ghana in November, filing our I-600, I had three passports in my hand and only had to wait for the I-600 approval and then they would come home. Their rooms were ready, clothes in their closets, everything. They had Christmas presents under my bed because, OF COURSE they would be home by Christmas! Well - mistake on one passport later and here we are, in April, kids still in Ghana! So - I can TOTALLY understand how you feel. There are SO MANY people who have gone before us who started after we did. You know you shouldn't feel that way but your heart is breaking and you just want those kids in your arms! Anyway - just wanted to let you know that so many of us know how you feel - exactly! Jellybean and Peanut are SO sweet! I love seeing all of the pictures you post of them! THanks for sharing your heart!