Lately I've been feeling a bit...hmm...how do I put it? Jealous. Yep - there it is. Out there for the world to see. I'm jealous.
In the adoption world, you make connections with other families who've been through this process before (or are going through it with you). Not many people have the advantage of having someone in their neighborhood or family who have gone through the adoption process, so you reach out to others on the internet. Over the past few weeks I've noticed that more and more of my internet friends have good news to share - they've passed court, are traveling to pick up their child, etc. Some of them are people who started the process after we did.
Now...I don't want you all to think that I'm not happy for you. I am. Really and truly happy for you.
But for me? It kinda stinks. Here we are....STILL not done with the homestudy. Still working out our next move. Still wondering if we can take this leap of faith and come up with the money.
I'm not writing this to be whiny in any way. Its just the truth. Sometimes the adoption process is hard. Sometimes its frustrating. And sometimes it brings out the very worst parts of your character (like letting someone else's good news make you jealous).
But sometimes adoption is also amazing, and wonderful...and brings out the very best in your character.
And at the end of your journey all those times of waiting and frustration go away. In the end, the timing seems perfect. As though it was planned out in advance.
I'm looking forward to that part.