I'm in THAT place. Emotionally speaking.
The place where I'd rather blog about crafting projects and other random websites than to spend time posting about the reason I have this blog in the first place(adoption-related news). I'm just in a painful place as far as adoption goes.
I am very excited about adding child #3 to our family. Really! I am!
But at the same time, this adoption process feels like its been going on FOREVER. On paper, we only became "referral ready" a couple of weeks ago. We've had so many stops and starts. So many ups...followed by very low downs. The fact that we've already had such a crazy roller-coaster ride and we're *only* to the point of "waiting for a referral" makes the road ahead seem very daunting.
We started thinking/praying/planning for this process over a year ago now (with a particular child in mind). Other families who started the process long after us are bringing children home...while we are just now starting to wait to find out who our child is.
It stinks, in so many eloquent words.
I don't want to be in this place. I don't want to wonder why our path turned out to be so painful and convoluted. I don't want to be the person who feels a tinge of jealousy when I hear about other families getting referrals and other children coming home. I want to be the person who can stand on the sidelines and cheer like crazy for every child who finds his/her forever family...even if I have to wait months and months and months.
But the truth is, this process is HARD. Waiting is HARD. And I'm not a perfectly patient person. I know that this is all adding to my character (as my mom would say). And at the end of the process, all of the pain will wash away. Our child is out there. There IS good news in our future.
But in the meantime, you (my faithful readers) might have to put up with some pretty pointless, boring posts. I'm just not sure I'm up to putting it all out there...not when I'm still working through the "stuff" myself.