Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Picture Post

Watching Peanut watch a movie is sometimes more entertaining than the movie itself. He's such an animated kid!

Last night, I gave the boys haircuts. Peanut has wanted a mohawk since last summer (when Jellybean had one). They were getting to the point where they NEEDED I decided to try my hand at mohawks. Peanut was first, and he wasn't so sure about keeping the new 'do. He's very sensitive to what other kids say...and he thought other kids would laugh at him. But as soon as Jellybean said he wanted one too, then Peanut was ALL IN. Personally I think they look pretty cool...I figure you're only a kid once...and there's only so long they can get away with crazy hair. Why not live it up? Plus its finally Spring...and its time to celebrate with a new look.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Who am I anyway?

Before I had kids, I used to get a little annoyed by the fact that my friends (who happened to be parents) only seemed to talk about their kids when we got together. I wondered why they didn't have anything more to talk about than the fact that kid #1 was coloring pictures all by himself and kid #2 was learning to walk.

Two years into this parenting journey and I now completely understand how easy it is to lose yourself in your kids. These days I don't have much more to talk about than my kids either. Somehow I've gotten lost in the sea of masterful works of art brought home in the boys' back packs. My identity has been glossed over by boys who love basketball, drawing pictures on big paper, and playing "band camp" in their room. My days are filled with laundry, cooking, cleaning, and breaking up arguments over toys (not to mention working).

This isn't necessarily to say that getting lost in your children is a bad thing. Kids are only young once, and you have to soak it up while you can. But I miss knowing who I am. I miss feeling passionate about things. I miss feeling like ME.

So I'm planning a change. One of my great loves is the love of fabric. I love the feel of fabric in my hands. I love putting fabrics together to make something interesting. I love quilting. But I haven't made time to do it much since the boys came home. I have a pretty substantial "stash" of fabric. I even have a sewing room. I'm going to start the change by making more time for me to quilt.

And I'm splurging. BIG TIME. On a new sewing machine. The machine I have is great for piecing the tops of quilts...but once I get that done, I'm kind of stuck. I can finish small quilts, but not larger ones (unless I tie them). After lots of research, I've discovered a relatively affordable machine that will allow me to finish more (and larger) projects. To top it off, I discovered that our local quilt shop carries that very machine. And they had 1 used machine. So I'm getting a GREAT deal on a new (to me) quilting machine (and frame to put it on). It is still a HUGE splurge for me. Its still a lot of money.

Z has said over and over that I should get it. But it has taken me a long time to feel like its ok for me to spend this much money on something that's just for me. However, I've come to the realization that it isn't just a splurge for me. Its an investment in my sanity. Its an investment in my passion. Its an investment in ME.

And that's worth it.

I've spent too much time and too much energy in the last year being unhappy. Being sad about why the journey to child #3 was taking us down such an unfortunate path.

We're done with that.

I'm done with that.

We're moving on.

We're bringing back the happy around here.

And I'm excited.

I may even set goals for projects. And give myself deadlines.

Stay tuned to my other blog
. Changes are comin'.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Attack of the Sickled Cells

Today I am hanging out at home again, though this time not because of the weather. This time its because Jellybean is suffering from the effects of Sickle Cell Disease. We've been pretty lucky so far with Jellybean and his Sickle Cell. In the 2 years the boys have been home, we haven't had any major problems. No hospitalizations, no missed days of school. He's had some fairly minor pain episodes (4 of them), but they only lasted a day or two and we've been able to keep the pain under control with over the counter pain meds. We know that he won't always have things so relatively pain-free, so we've been really thankful that things have been going so well.

Since Z has been spending so much time away from home for Army duties lately, he decided to treat me to a night out with a friend on Friday evening while he stayed home with the boys. This, of course, meant that they spent the evening eating "man food" (chili dogs), watching a movie, and playing video games. It also meant that they stayed up later than usual and drank some soda (a pretty rare treat for the boys).

There was more staying up late, getting up early, lots of family fun time, snacks and sodas throughout the rest of the weekend. This (combined with a bit of a cold), unfortunately resulted in Jellybean's pain episode today.

Last night, after completing the last of his homework, Jellybean started complaining that his knee hurt. His knee is not usually his "hot spot", so I didn't think too much of it. I assumed he had bumped it on something while he and his brother were goofing around. By bed time, he was limping around and complaining a lot more. So, I gave him some medicine and sent him to bed.

At 1:00am, he came downstairs to tell us that his leg still hurt really bad. Z gave him some water and sent him back to bed. At 2:15am, he was calling for me so I headed up to his room to find him rolling around on the floor crying, holding his knee. So I sat with him for a while, got him some more medicine, talked with him about why it hurt ("It hurts all by itself - I didn't bang it on anything"), gave him some more water, and tucked him back in to bed. When he woke up this morning, it was the same story again. Jellybean writhing in pain, clutching his knee.

I wish I could take this pain away from him. I wish there was a magic pill I could give him that would stop the pain, help him sleep better, and allow him to play all the sports he wants without having to stop every few minutes to drink water and rest. I wish he didn't have to miss school because he's in pain. I wish that he didn't have to feel singled out when he has to go to the specialist for check-ups.

And most of all, I wish that he didn't have to get used to this. I know its likely only to get worse over time, not better. Oh how I wish I could change that.